Can I Be Your Memory?
by Mon Petit Pierrot
Summary: The realization, the truth, that he was dead, really dead, after surviving the unbalanced odds of the long fight against XANA, and to be struck down now by something so ordinary, just when the fight was heating up, finally hit him. one-shot. slight O/A.


**Title: **Can I Be Your Memory?**  
Author: **Mon Petit Pierrot  
**Fandom: **Code Lyoko  
**Rating: **K+  
**Pairing: **some slight Odd/Aelita**  
Warnings: **contains slight spoilers for episode 52, "the key" and some major spoilers from Season 4. **  
Summary: **The realization, the truth, that he was dead, _really_ dead, after surviving the unbalanced odds of the long fight against XANA, to be struck down now by something so ordinary, just when the fight was heating up, finally hit him.

**Note: **This was an idea that came absolutely out of nowhere. I honestly have no idea where it came from. It hit me and I was like, ...wow.

**Song: **"Ashoken Farewell/The Contradiction" by Celtic Woman, "Memory" by Sugarcult and "Still Waiting" by Sum 41.

* * *

**Can I Be Your Memory?**

_So get back, back, back to where we lasted._  
_Just like I imagine._  
_I could never feel this way._  
_So get back, back, back to the disaster._  
_My heart's beating faster._  
_Holding on to feel the same._

_

* * *

_It was such a simple ending, one that didn't fit.

There was no XANA attack, as the evil virus had escaped the supercomputer several days before with no signs of an attack; the pact to fight their enemy until it was defeated had been made between the five of them only just the night before. There was no Sissy, hell-bent on getting her revenge for all the times that the group had mocked her. There was no cross teacher who had startled him out of a peaceful and well-deserved nap on the bough of his favorite tree.

No. It was only a fall, a slight but fatal slip of his perfect balance.

And for one such as Odd, it was a rather unsatisfying end.

As he opened his eyes to see the deep velvet sky, he thought he had only fallen from the tall tree he had rested in and was knocked unconscious for a time, which would explain the faint throbbing at the back of his head. Shrugging off the pain he stood stiffly and stretched his arms over his head, grinning widely as he thought of the delicious menu for dinner that night. He allowed his feet to lead him to the cafeteria, whistling a cheerful tune with his hands in his pockets.

He didn't look back, didn't see the prone body sprawled on the leaf-littered ground.

But someone else had. A petite brunette girl who was submerged in the foliage, trying to finish one of her school projects, had seen him fall. She scrambled to her feet, dropping her supplies, and ran screaming for help past Odd. He tried to catch her wrist, to ask what had frightened her, but her body passed through his hand. He stared at his fingers as though he had never seen them before, caught off guard.

Even with all the horror movies he had seen, he couldn't grasp what had happened, his quick mind slowing down to a crawl. He followed her at a cautious pace, curious and a bit scared, watching as she attracted a group of interested students. William approached her, asking what was wrong, and she threw herself at him, sobbing wildly into his chest. The black-haired boy turned to the closest person and asked for the principal.

Mr. Delmas arrived a few minutes later, breathless and frantic, gently questioning the girl. She didn't answer him, taking his jacket sleeve and dragging him to the forest with the gaggle of students behind them.

Odd stood still, watching them go, and caught sight of his favorite gym teacher following the group. He grinned and called out to him, for the moment forgetting what had happened--but Jim did not answer him, concentrating on the first aid kit in his hands. He could feel his breath catch in surprise, and he flew past his teacher and fellow classmates, keeping pace with the girl and the principal.

And though he was standing right next to them, they took no notice of his presence.

He raced ahead and stumbled to a halt at the edge of the forest, finally seeing the truth. He could see his body tangled up in the thick roots of the tree, head tilted unnaturally to the side, blood covering his forehead, entirely still. Emotion crashed down on him and he fell forward onto his knees. He wanted to deny what was in front of him, but he couldn't as he stretched out his hand to touch the body. He allowed himself to absorb the fading warmth of his - _its_ - skin.

The realization, the truth, that he was dead, _really_ dead, after surviving the unbalanced odds of the long fight against XANA, to be struck down now by something so ordinary, just when the fight was heating up, finally hit him.

His scream of despair was lost in the roar of the nearby traffic and the leaves of the trees above him.

* * *

He found himself kneeling beside Aelita's bed that night, watching helplessly as the pink-haired girl cried herself to sleep. He had his hand on hers, though she couldn't feel his silent comfort, her blotchy face covered with the pink blanket. He wished that he could do more, but he knew that it was futile. He can only sit there as she whimpered his name over and over again.

The feeling of guilt ballooned inside his chest, but there was nothing he could do. He couldn't touch her soft cheek, to reassure her, and he longed to stroke her hair as he always did to help her sleep, feeling the softness of the unusually colored strands on his skin.

But he was no longer there.

* * *

He found himself standing beside Ulrich in their science class the next day, looking over his shoulder and watching his friend attempt to follow the lecture. The brunette stared down at his paper forlornly as though he was expecting the answers to leap out at him, his eyes red and swollen.

He felt the now familiar twinge of guilt in his throat. He can still hear those screams of denial echoing in the little room they had shared, the wild pleas hurled at his still body to come back, to _live,_ to fight, to laugh, to make corny jokes--but that flowed out of him as he started crying, and wasn't able to stop. He had followed at a safe distance as Ulrich was led to Jeremy's room, and the entire night he had just stood there in front of the door, listening to the quiet sobs of two of his best friends inside.

He hadn't been able to bring himself to enter.

Having distracted himself from that thought by listening to the extensive lecture for once, he whispered the answers to Ulrich. But the brunette just randomly circled the letters on the page, not paying attention.

He sighed, missing his old life all the more.

* * *

He found himself in the next hour attempting to copy the newly awkward motions of the sparring match between Yumi and Ulrich. He had always wanted to learn, but at the moment neither of the two talented fighters were the best teachers.

They wore their emotions on their sleeves now, fragile and broken because of what had happened.

Suddenly the jerky movements slowed to a halt, and Yumi lowered her leg to the floor, her body stiff with tension. Ulrich copied her, and they just watched each other with blank eyes. He switched his gaze between the two, uncertain and hesitant.

The Japanese girl just collapsed onto her knees, dissolving into tears. Her hands tighten into fists, shaking with the force of her tears. Ulrich knelt beside her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, gently stroking her hair. She buried her face in the crook of his neck, clutching at his shirt. They clung to each other in desperation, as though afraid to let go.

He sunk to the floor at the opposite end, overwhelmed with the oppressive feeling of loss.

* * *

He found himself leaning against the window several days later, observing the sullen group before him as they picked at their food and attempted small talk that quickly died. He wanted to start one of his many jokes, just to see a smile, or a usual exasperated roll of the eyes even, but it goes unnoticed. He should have figured out by now that he will never be heard again.

He had never wanted to be in this sort of situation, to lose his life and watch his friends' spirits dwindle. This couldn't be the way that things would end; nothing should have been able to break their close bond. They couldn't drift apart now. Someone had to find a better way to fight against XANA.

But it seemed that they had lost that will now.

* * *

It was surreal, sitting through his own funeral.

He couldn't describe the emotion he could feel swelling inside his chest as he stood in the corner of the small community church, watching the room fill up slowly with the black-clothed students and faculty of Kadic. There was no sign of his parents; they were probably traveling again. Of course. His best friends sat in the very front, their heads down and their hands linked together in a gesture of comfort and support.

There was a wrinkled white handkerchief clenched in Aelita's hand, and she kept sniffling, trying to hold back her tears. Yumi sat hunched forward, her face hidden by her dark hair. Ulrich sat stiffly beside her in his borrowed tuxedo, one that was a size too big for him, staring at the wooden casket where he knew his body lay.

Soft, considering words were spoken by the white-robed priest. His friends were invited up to speak at the foot of the casket. Aelita could barely talk through her tears, casting quick little glances at the coffin as she told the crowd that Odd was the best person she had ever known. Yumi was next, and she admonished the eccentric blond she had called her friend for being a troublemaker, earning a few laughs. But then she complimented him in a quiet voice, her hands folded primly, saying that he was someone who was entirely selfless and was always there for you, no matter what.

Jeremy had to scrub his hand over his face before he could speak, wiping away the traces of tears, and said that Odd had managed to distract him countless times with his insane antics in the two years they had been enrolled at Kadic. He said that he had never laughed so much or was willing to be so carefree before he had met Odd. He was grateful.

Ulrich was last.

The brunette stood and he followed as his closest friend solemnly stood in front of the casket, staring down at it for a moment before taking a deep breath and turning to face the crowd. He simply said that Odd, the often thought crazy Italian kid, was the brother he had always wanted but never had before coming to school here. Someone like Odd was irreplaceable.

He had to smile, and whispered his thanks as Ulrich slowly walked back to his seat.

* * *

He stood beside his friends as they traveled to the old factory with the constant threats from XANA, cheering as they fought and successfully shut down every attack from the virus. The months slipped by quietly and his routine stayed the same. He watched his friends from over their shoulders, staying near to offer his silent support, and often caught himself daydreaming about his old life.

He stayed by them, and he could see that they were forcing themselves to act normal for the school to see. But once they were behind the closed doors of their dorms, it was different. They would often break down if it had been a particularly stressful day or a recent Sissy encounter of her unending callous attitude. He couldn't begin to count the number of times that Ulrich would just come up to his room and curl up on his old bed to pet Kiwi.

As the days worn on into early fall, he could see that his friends were slowly collapsing into despair despite their success as protectors. He had heard Yumi whispering to Ulrich about how Lyoko just wasn't the same, how it was bordering on almost impossible to protect themselves against XANA and the newly possessed William, that she feared that their luck would soon run out without. . . She hadn't been able to continue, swallowing hard.

The brunette had agreed solemnly, his expression never changing.

He wanted to tell them not to give up because of his death, never give up, because XANA would ultimately win if that happened.

But his pleas went unheard.

* * *

Several days later he found himself beside Jeremy, observing the process of the blond genius entering codes furiously into his computer's database. He could see the renewed will to fight against XANA in the stubborn set of his shoulders and was proud to call him his friend. He leaned against the desk casually and scuffed his shoes against the worn blue carpet as there was a soft knock and the door opened to admit the rest of his friends.

He could barely recognize them now.

Their eyes were hollow, and it looked as though they had lost their hope in the world.

Jeremy swung his chair around to face them and attempted to smile, but it faded as the others only stared at him, waiting for what he had to say. He cleared his throat uncomfortably and pushed his glasses farther up his nose, straightening his spine and bluntly announcing the news they all had been waiting to hear for the longest time.

He had found a way to strengthen their Lyoko avatars and constructed a vehicle program that would enable them to travel easier around the virtual world. He had also a thread of an idea to start a program that would help them navigate the unknown territory of the digital sea, to find the Replikas that XANA had built.

The joy on his friend's faces at the wonderful news was radiant and huge smiles brightened their faces, erasing their aloofness from the world. He celebrated with them from the edge as they rushed forward to envelope Jeremy in a crushing hug, crying and laughing wildly at the same time.

He was surprised to hear Jeremy tell them through laughter that it was all in Odd's memory. It was all for _him_.

And they all agreed wholeheartedly with a loud cheer.

* * *

It was finally over. They had won after a long battle well fought. XANA was gone forever. All they had to do now was shut down the supercomputer.

But their last mission had come at the cost of Franz Hopper's life. He had never seen Aelita so devastated.

Initially there was some hesitation on shutting it down, dwelling on their sentimental memories of Lyoko, but when they gathered in the control room Jeremy immediately stepped forward and opened the panel to reveal the lever. As he wrapped his hand around the handle, the other three followed him and placed their hands over his. They whispered, "for Odd" as together they closed the lid on their life as virtual heroes.

* * *

He was there as his friends entered high school and then college, grew into the fine adults he knew they would be, and found their individual careers. He was there when Ulrich boldly proposed to Yumi during the friends' weekly dinner, through the whole complicated process of planning the wedding, and seeing them tie the knot in a small ceremony during the summer and ending with the most passionate kiss he had ever seen.

He was there as Aelita fell in love with Jeremy, dating for about two years, and their marriage. He felt like a proud uncle when he witnessed the birth of Yumi and Ulrich's first son, named after him and who matched his personality almost perfectly as he grew into a rambunctious three year old. Little Odd would lead Aelita and Jeremy's daughter around by the hand often and show her the world through his mischievous eyes.

He enjoyed watching their families, especially their kids.

"Odd Stern!"

And he laughed when he realized that the child would be just the same as him, always causing the same trouble.

They would never get rid of him.


End file.
